It was still light ouot when we were walking up Pier Ave and she kept asking if she could suck my nipples.
so after all day drinking, we went to an all u can eat crab place and i was going from table to table surveying the crowd if they though the crab i was carrying around looked like the flying dog from never ending story...what the hell is wrong with me?
It's impossible to flirt with the bank tellers because they see how broke I am.
Its so hard looking at my mom and pretending I'm not dying a slow death of binge drinking
Sorry I didn't text you for coffee this morning...bad life decision Saturday sorta rolled into Monday...
I HAVE A PRESENT FOR YOU AND ITS NOT MY VAGINA
the outcome of this sandwich determines whether or not i do anything else with my day..
You put Smirnoff in your grape juice and called it communion...
My dick hurts from so many people grabbing it last night. We're not going back to that club
Dont even get me started. you fell asleep in my kitchen after being cockblocked when you tried to use my roommates bedroom.
its the pipe that keeps on giving. Just when I think it's done, I scrape just enough. It's a st. Patrick's day miracle!
I think it's getting serious, we started a jigsaw puzzle together.
He told me to keep watching the Grammys and then went down on me.. I think I'm in love.
there's a giant awkward home-wrecking elephant in the room. and its name is meg.
Be careful, there is sex in the air.
Randomize
