I just met lou reed's venus in furs. Her hands are slippery.
I heard you aren't going to graduate...that suck sorry bro
I heard your girlfriend is trying to spread swine flu because she wants to wear one of those masks to cover up her broke ass teeth
Goodnight sugar queer
Sugar queer??
Why does my predictive text prioritize 'queer' over 'puffs'?
i got last night's adventure to take the garbage out when he was leaving. my vagina is THAT good.
on the last problem of the exam i just drew a picture of a cat and left
should we take a power nap before our cocaine gets here?
I didn't realize I was holding it, until I was like, "whose baby is this?"
Ive never seen him vulnerable before. He just had surgery and looked so cute on his crutches. like a little baby bird with a broken wing. that i wanted to nurse back to health. with my vagina
I HAVE A BLACK EYE FROM A DILDO!! IM GETTING MARRIED TOMORROW! THIS IS NOT A MISSUNDERSTANDING!
We couldve played the bring a random boy to lunch game but i made him go home
Now some guy that's in my phone as " Alex lip ring hot" is texting me and I don't where life is taking me
If I shaved my pubic hair into a heart for valentine's day how much would you judge me?
I like that you use a Disney movie to describe the starting of our BDSM relationship, lmao
I woke up in some kids room and he introduced me to his friends at breakfast as "Monica" so I just went with it.
Your mom has reinvented the use of a ping pong ball.
Randomize
