guy from last night has fluorescent crocs in his closet. judging by the rest of his clothes he doesn't wear them in an ironic way
It's 10am, I'm at grocery store buying booze b/c the bf just told me that he didn't "technically" break up with his ex.
you just used a box of cheese-its to get into the bar
No no no. When you take one for the team, there are no stipulations or conditions
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Soo time for a life change, my 6 yr old sister made my gf a puke bucket for her birthday
So I just told the bartender I would go down on her. You need to get here
Keep your head up. His game is good, and you should be honoured to be a notch on his wall. If it makes you feel better, if it wasn't you, it was going to be me.
What's the best way to say, "it's too early in our relationship to leave me at your place alone"? Steal something?
When I don't want to forget things I put them on my cigs.
C smoking isn't all bad
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't think you understand. I woke up under the car. At 3 am. In the club parking lot.
just wanted to eat pizza off his dick so he let me and he can never forget it
can you come here so we can have really loud sex? the girl upstairs walks so loud i want her to know how it feels
of course
I made a powerpoint to trip to.
you are so studious.
YOU UNCULTURED BADGER
You and I both know it takes more than prescription narcotics to keep our family down. See you around ten, brother.
Randomize