He belongs with you like a mcdonalds playground belongs in Chernobyl
Who pooed in my magic bullet?
Sorry the bathroom was being used.
you dont seem to understand my overwhelming need to watch space jam right now
ok this is the part where i go up stairs and pass out incoherently untill 6 30 tommaorw morning and not rember any of this. love youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu!
25 Porn Addicts Admit Their Biggest Pet Peeves
I just spiked the applesauce. Try to tell me again your party is better.
I feel like we're taking advantage of the fact that our R.A has cerebal palsey.
Dude you have to come get or im gonna nail this 64 y/o woman as repayment for buying me shots of jager
Dude I walked 1.4 miles through the hotel wearing a cowboy hat, pink topped boots, gucci shades, and a scarf and met my parents in the hallway at 7 am how is this not a good start to Vegas?
I'm not a horrible person, I just see what everyone chooses to politely ignore.. And occasionally say it aloud whilst deeply intoxicated.
These 23 People Walked In On Someone And Saw Some Crazy Sh*t
It's hard to be judgmental of others when you are wearing silver pleather.
The only explanation I can think of is that he still likes me. Which gives me an enormous amount of power over him and makes me laugh with malicious intent.
Jacked up my neck and shoulder hanging on for dear life while I rode him like a boss. Plus my house smells like broccoli, bad! How's YOUR morning?
It was one of those "how did I get to my bed and what am I wearing" mornings.
I didn't know I was invited to an orgy.
I left at 4:30 in the morning and I told him it was because I had to take my contacts out