thanks...oh and i got my period
You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
Nothing gets me like the O.C. theme song does.
I went to moterboat her and I started laughing, so I just kinda blew on them... I think I'm gona call that move the sailboat.
Studying for the exam.. Identifying the portraits using phrases like "large penis"
Well I say she's a whore. All four of her kids have different last names.
BUT, one is Johnson and the other is Johnston. She gets some credit for that
just ran into a kid I used to hook up with while wearing his shirt. Only me. I tried to pretend like it wasn't his but it said his name on the back so I wasn't winning that.
I am actually insulted by the long string of ugly, fat girls he hooked up with after me.
Mom just Facebook checked into an Applebees at 2am. Caption: ''WITH THE BESTIEZ.''
One of two things would happen: He'd love it, or you'd get a restraining order.
We bought home drug tests to see which of us could make it look more like a kaleidoscope. What happened to the days of innocent fun trying to best everyone with a breathalyzer?
I woke up in my own bed clutching a key to a Ramada in another state.
He started a convo with me by saying that we went to high school together and then recommended I try meth.
I just watched my ex butt chug a quart of eggnog. Why did I dump her again?
There's a guy running dressed as a bunny toward your house.