How was last night?
She looked like Delta Burke in her fat Designing Women days ... and she just left like 2 minutes ago. Right after breakfast.
And you kept hanging up and calling back because you thought I wasn't greeting you properly.
its a vaginal recession for me, ill take what i can get
These eggs taste like chocolate chip cookies. This is the best hangover ever.
You Wouldn’t Guess That These 25 Celebrities Are Complete A**holes
Just had lapdance from stripper that had her 5th kid 28 hours earlier. A for work ethic.
Trust me I was high for like 5 years...I got this
He had a joint rolled for us when he picked me up. It's how ASU does romance
Everybody shut up a minute, we need to discuss how much nicer the world would be if pants weren't a thing.
My vagina was just really confused why you weren't inside it
27 Of The Most NSFW Life Hacks
He thought he was ordering for the whole party so when he came back with thirty burritos and four of us were left, he wasn't happy
Think of all the island guys I could have. Ah well.
You can not bait me into a "how Stella got her groove back" call and response.
Oh, that was the alley that I ate a pine cone in.
Just reintroduced tequila back into my life...so that's happening
YAS SHES BACK AND BETTER THAN EVER
First morning at school this semester and I threw up in a bush during my walk of shame.
Hey buddy, turns out those were the PB&shroomwiches, soooo you may want to reconsider dinner with your girlfriends family tonight...