I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
I want Jason Statham to talk British to my vagina.
Just saw an Asian kid crash into the bike rack with his bike. I love sitting outside the engineering building.
Just mixed Baileys and yoohoo. I feel like an alchoholic 2nd grader.
These Are 23 Of The Most Uncomfortable Questions You Can Ask
just had sex with a midget and didnt wrap it... were totally gonna have a tv show :)
the blizzard started in kansas. im debating driving to a bar now so i can get snowed in there for the game
So gin and wine won't be happening again
I wonder what it would be like to go to the dry cleaners and not have to inform them that all my clothes are stained with booze.
just looked up how to break up with someone nicely on google. glad to know im not the only one who looks up this shit.
The 17 Most Horrible Things Said To Online Daters
He walked into the party with a case on one shoulder and a boom box on the other of course I fucked him
I can do it, this is my punishment and I will accept it, plus id like to see the look on peoples faces when I throw up on them
One minute we were getting noise complainted by the security guards the next I was shotgunning a beer with them
Mega depressed bro. Had the greatest sex with the hottest girl I've ever seen and in the AM she gave me that look I've given dozens of times. I'm her drunken fat chick fuck
You rubbed a frozen pizza in my face. The concerning part was that it was semi cooked from our body heat
fucked a girl in the dry storage closet at work. knocked over a whole rack of tomato paste and pinto beans. and also i really hope my manager doesn't review this footage from the security camera