You can't motorboat a personality
we need to go to the store. i'm tired of having bud light for breakfast.
do you want me to pick up budweiser instead?
No, I don't think Michelle is a squirter. And if I've had anal sex, the Obamas have.
Just seeing my phone say "picture message from: Senor Floppy Cock", i knew it was going to make me smile.
you reached into a lemon drop to pull out a lemon of someone else's drink..
Is it weird that the girl he dated after me had a child with him and it has my name? I think it means he's not over me. Or I'm really self absorbed...
Sadly he is straight as an arrow that is designed by a robot computer from the future with lasers.
This saddens me. Mostly because I want to see the schematics on that robot.
Just walked into your room to get my clothes and he's still passed out in your bed. Remind me to high five you when you get home
Lol I wish they went straight to your cock then shot out into my mouth like a cock nacho dispenser
I'm sorry. I slept with him again. On the plus side he's got better at it!
decided to jump from one of the levels of the Westin chicago Nortghwest. it was worth the broken legs.
But yeah, I am thinking that "Cake Heresy" will now be a thing
G&T. Gin and tonic. GIN AND TONIC. GIN AND TONIC AND FUCKING LIME
Try me, you 5'5 gremlin
He ate me out on the front lawn of the post office. The people in the office across the road definitely got a show!
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