you threw up in thedumpster behind red robin
and kept yelling "DIRTY BIRD"
I think he was having a seizure but nobody knew because 'what is love' was playing
After I just paid $211 for my hair to be dyed and cut this guy at the bar said "I know you died your hair with koolaid, but I'd still fuck the shit out of you"
Apparently tackling a bar stool and crashing to the floor while yelling for 6 shots of whiskey won't get you thrown out on St Pattys Day.
Definitely got drunk and sent her a literal picture of my asshole. I titled it " you"
Aside from the fact that there's a penis in my mouth, that's a pretty good picture of me
I knew my sign language would come in handy. I just used sign to coordinate a coke deal.
Come find me, I'm the girl sitting alone in taco bell at 9 in the morning drinking concealed beer with a straw
No, we got so into acting out our role play characters we didn't even fuck. still sucess.
Did your surprise acid trip turn out well?
The only reason I have clothes in my overnight bag is to cover up my sex toys.
Fireball goes down like mother's milk. Btw your housemate is naked
It feels so wrong having a picture of my tits next to a picture of my daughter.
I masterbated poison ivy onto my penis, it hasn't been this upset with me since the Take one for the team fiasco of 02.
In honor of the new administration, I'm going to make it my goal this weekend to get some lesbian action. Fuck Donald Trump and fuck Mike Pence. I'm going to be a spiteful gay.
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