okay pat passed out under dana's car
can you imagine how much money lesbians save on birth control?!?
bitches.
There are babies in the room i shouldnt be high with babies in the room.
I'm not sure where but someone shit somewhere in the house
Her brother walked in on her giving me a bj and just laughed. I got a highfive before I left.
You are like a prophet. It's amazing how many people you convince to be lesbians.
buying my parents vodka for Christmas is like buying a normal person socks.
Lets now bow our heads and think of girls with ex boyfriends who were great at fingering them. That's so sad.
Oh my god there's only so much masturbating one can do before one wants to fucking cry
Maybe I can find a straight girl rehab camp, like the opposite of those degaying camps, where they teach me how to love the ladies instead
Omg. I would pay ALL OF THE MONEY for that camp.
Stop studying come to the bar get drunk and help me figure out how to get home pretend there are commas in there someplace
Youre having a picnic
Yeah but all we have is vodka, so it's getting a bit out of hand.
MIDGETS
????
Don't take advice from me. I'm simultaneously shitting and eating cheesecake.
Is there evidence of another human being getting away with this/ not dying?
Randomize
