Idk if this white stuff in my shower is conditioner or... something else?
Only girl at that party wearing a fake beard and I STILL get laid...
i think you broke pat's ankle when you drove over it... he's freaking out but on a more serious note i'm 99% sure i saw a werewolf
She called herself a train and then took off all her clothing. I forget everything after that.
I saw you two flinging Jello at the sidewalk if that helps jog your memory.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he was drinking cheap vodka with warm tap water and a packet of crystal light. if that's not an alcoholic then idk what is
Today my mom told me "that's what worries me about you getting blacked out drunk... You don't look pretty"
The worst part was I wasn't conscious enough to move out of the way, I knew i was being puked on but I couldn't move.
They wear helmets and mouth pieces when they drink...u down?
The best part of tonight is drunk commenting on my moms pic about how birds just want to give you diseases and pluck out your eyes
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Exactly. Motivated vaginas are the best kind of vagina
I just farted in the bathroom and the guy in the stall next to me started gagging. Its a beauitful day
Woke up with two different flip flops on sum burnt at the beach. Who are these French kids plz come back
By the way, just opened the browser on my phone for the first time today... And it was it the "images" section of "who invented ass fucking"
So thanks for that
It took me three days, but I managed to nearly get arrested on my way out of LA. Made it to the airport. Crisis averted, though. The real crime is, my flight is delayed two hours.
they told me that it was glow in the dark and would make me magical. I was too drunk to say no. I woke up to a purple vagina.
its like a neon Im stupid as fuck sign
Randomize