Going to bed naked. Too bad I am all alone. Need to make some changes. Either sleep with clothes or with you
i want to be waterboarded, just to see what all the fuss is about
Is it sad that I'm on the stopduiaz.com website and there is a cute boy but it will never work between us because hes in jail for 17.5 years?
Um.. is it mean if I say yes?
How would my first penpal letter even go? "Hey saw you on stopduiaz.com, sucks you killed that motorcyclist. Whats your favorite thing to do on the weekend?"
STOP SENDING ME DANCING JESUS FORWARDS.
i may or may not have just grinded on your dog thinking it was my boyfriend
He's been dancing to the same Rob Thomas album in his room for almost 8 hours now. Please never, ever bring extacy over here again.
Drinking gin at a party, riding a giant inflatable walrus all around the living room.
just had a very awkward conversation with the concierge at the hotel, they threw your underwear out
Well, if you're getting/have gotten your dick sucked, you're welcome. If not, I tried. Step up your game, pussy. I pulled a MacGuyver and got mine. No excuses bro.
I heard you coughing. Are you choking or smoking? And are you okay?
I just need some dick and some jimmy johns
I'm going to try and loofah my hangover away.
Update: It didn't work
Yeah, it was all very half-hearted. In the middle of sex we both just stopped and looked at each other and said, "can we just sleep instead?"
That is so sad.
I'm so high right now that I winked back at a character in this TV show.
She walked into the kitchen, said 'we've come to this time of the party,' reached into the bowl of cold spaghetti and shoved a handful in her mouth.
Randomize
