well on the bright side, he charges $60 for an eighth
so he'll probably take me somewhere nice
they had a keg party to fund her abortion.
He lit his shirt on fire at the bar by putting a lit cigarette in the pocket to "save for later."
is it too early in the day to continue our conversation about penis shapes?
I saw your arrest video on youtube. you look so thin!
Doing tuck and rolls down a stair case was not my brightest idea
It's confirmed. We did xmas carol the grocery store across the street from his building at 2:30am... Only the staff was there.
We still going to Happy Hour
Idk. I can't because it doesn't fit in my schedule of sleeping or throwing up
Everyone is drunk but me. Fantastic. Everyone is hooking up but me. Awkward.
I had a pitcher of margaritas. Now I'm in a laundry room being a 5th wheel and crying. I made myself a bed out of a pool floatie. I win.
pretty sure I just came the closest to throwing up in my pants that I'm ever gonna get. I'd like to thank the academy and the hangover thatt I hope actually kills me in the morning.
It was so small.
Tiny. Got to love sexting. Imagine finding out the old fashioned way.
And thanks! There are perks to polyamory. And birthday orgies are one of them
Did I fall last night?
I wouldn't call it falling as much as you tried to lay on the sidewalk and proceeded to hit it face first.
Did you at least know who's jizz it was?
That is questionable.
That’s all I need in life: vibrators, butt plugs, strawberry lube, and sour gummies
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