he proceeded to punch 3 mailboxes in a row and when i asked him why, he said "because they were talking shit"... i need a new boyfriend. and a new life.
i googled waterboarding like you asked. as long as you do it outside. we have carpet. but i wont be a part of it.
They are currently going door-to-door asking the neighbors to donate money for Cheez-Its and gift wrap. They asked me to stay back at the house to make another pitcher of margaritas.
whiskey dick. though we did manage to break my closet door and flood the bathroom.
I didn't budget in chasers this month so were chasing everything with water. Sorry.
He told me he felt like he shoud say thank you and as a prize i could keep anything from his room that i wanted.
I think he just caught a duck in mid flight
He was running late for work this morning, so I helped him out by finding a matching pair of black socks. And I hated it. So I'm currently drinking and reminding myself of the reasons I will never get married.
When i'm home next we need to get baked and go to waffle house. I want to see if the waitress can still guess my intoxication level and what i'm about to order before i even make it to the table.
Girl it's 3:30 get your life together and come enjoy a bowl, some coffee and a brownie with me
After owing so much in back child support they should make vasectomy a mandatory
You also hate cartoons and musicals, so I will take that to mean the movie was as awesome as I thought it was..smoke weed
I'm worried about how taking care of my mom's dog while being on acid will go.
It was hands down the most magical fuck I've ever had
It was the only fuck you've ever had..
I put him in the supply closet, used the copy paper to build a fort around him and his wheelchair, then he fucked me in the fort.
Randomize
