Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
my love horoscope just told me to "say it in frosting" should i take this literally?? i think yes.
ok, I understand that your bathroom door is broken, but at least close the blinds next time you take a shit. The entire parking garage just watched you.
You never realize how many sex toys you have until you have to strategically hide them while moving out of your dorm.
It'll be just me and my penis against the world.
Some dude gave me a questioning look as I came out of the women's toilet. I just responded 'blowjob' and he understood, then shook my hand.
Is it too early to say this year has been a blur?
Its ok. Im having a low day. About to mix cake mix with milk and drink it.
Lol i have proven this trip that I can meet a chick and fuck her within 72 hours no matter where she lives
The best part about this city is obvious. Someone saw me crouching by a bar pissing in my leftover Panera bread bowl and they just winked.
How do i politely tell him his dick looks like it went thru a meat grinder?
It wasn't good. I can tell by the way he fucks me he watched too much porn
I thought I would be a proper lady and put my spare panties in a ziplock
Today I learned that I have a bigger dick than Draymond Green
Is it fucked up to venmo someone for plan-b?
Randomize
