In the future we'll all be gay
The jonas brothers playing in your laptop. This is why guys won't sleep with you...
Seriously. Doesn't matter if I went out last night, work is like crafts class w.a side of facebook
I don't care. I'll be that guy that eats cake in a car. Alone. With the doors locked.
By the way, thank you for feeding me fries when I was sitting on the floor.
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
I broke stuart's oven and showed up to the party with a squirrel.
Then she cat effected the picture of my dick I sent her the other night. I'm in love.
Sorry I don't make house calls. You wanna get blown you come over here. It's like rock paper scissors but vagina ALWAYS beats penis
IT'S LINGERIE PURCHASED FROM A FLEA MARKET, THE ONLY THING IT'S GOING TO BE POSITIVE FOR IS A TEST FOR HIV
So our annual Dick Trip has been tentatively scheduled for the week of July 1 - 5. This years theme is "Fucking for Freedom".
I am having the most awesome nonsexual conversation about my vagina right now
Turns out Edward 40 hands and life-sized jenga is really hard...Didn't stop you from trying. How is your concussion?
Pretty sure I just scored Election Day sex based on the theory that if either of these fools win the world as we know it is over so we might as well get a few orgasms in...
oh.. my GOD my dad just text me... "i need a naked women" ........... help?
Randomize
