It smelt so bad when i tried biting off her underwear that i didn't want to touch with my mouth
It is 8 o'clock in the morning and there is already blood all over one of the stalls in the bathroom. What has your St. Patrick's day done for you?
I just looked at all of our spring break pictures... there's a guy getting a blow job in the background of the ones on the beach.
Does it make me a prostitute if I accepted a Life House concert ticket for giving this guy head?
No. It just means your good at giving head.
I forgot to tell you thank you for putting me out when I was on fire. im sure I'll laught about this someday...
Notice: I will be intoxicated and in your area this evening. To unsubscribe from my sexual solicitation list, reply 'fuck off'.
Bjs on a first date are the gateway to getting to know someone for who they really are.
The only thing worse than being arrested is the fact the cop confiscated my green dinosaur costume.
How unacceptable would it be to bar hop with a funnel in the square? It's Halloweekend and I plan on going hard. I can claim it goes w/ my costume. But I don't think the MIMITW uses funnels.
she put on her moms wedding dress and is chugging purple jolly rancher vodka, happy cyber monday
I enjoy the level of friendship we have achieved until you ask me to determine what may or may not be gentile warts via iphone pic
Honestly, this is a first for me. I've always prided myself on my ability to pretend to get along with others.
We are all done wearing pants today
We were sexting and i didn't know what to say, so i said i wanted to wrap him in tortillas and devour him like a burrito. then i went on by saying that i liked my burritos with a lot of cheese.
Update: the condoms are expired and Canadians are NOT to be trusted!
Randomize
