Is it bad that my booty call's snoring was more interesting than the sex we had last night?
the guy next to me needed a pen, so I let him take one from my book bag. my panties are now being passed around the class...thank you for telling me you hid them in my bookbag.
i think i left my bra at your place
It's still hanging from my ceiling fan. Please let me keep it there.
The woman at the nail salon waxing my lip just showed me the strip with all the hair on it while smirking. Apparenltly 'you have a stache' can be communicated through a language barrier.
we bribed her with croutons and jello shots.
Pretty sure I blacked out the last 48 hours, the last thing I remember is the 4 pm bar crawl on Thurs
Can you believe they're going to let me be a doctor?
He snuck out of bed at 9 am and came back with pizza and a bottle of wine. I think I'm in love!
FYI, your girlfriend is on her way to the ER. She tried to balance a bottle of jack on her chest. Smashed toes, blood all over patio. Call her, kinda funny though.
Overall win. We all know who got to sleep on the concrete outside of Denny's with you.
PLEASE. I won't throw up on the floor this time. Or fuck in the bathroom. Or dance on the pool table. So PLEASE.
Dude when the cops came you ran through the fence. Fucking THROUGH it. You're a master ditcher.
I made out with a guy so that I could get ahead in the bathroom line, totally acceptable
he told me he didn't like my name so he was going to call me Casey instead
The guy got mobbed on, all hell broke loose. About 20 cops showed up, and this kid somehow convinced a cop that letting him pee in front of him is justifiable. This guy could sweet talk Hellen Keller, he was THAT good
He still want's to kick my ass for fucking his sister, probably a bad idea to leave the bar with his ex...
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