dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
I feel like i made up for not being able to drink on St Pattys Day, Mardi Gras, and last years Cinco De Mayo. That hungover.
He adopted an old drug sniffing dog so that he won't lose his weed around the house anymore. It works.\n
I don't care that you fucked her. I'm offended that once again, you fucked someone with me in the room because you assumed I was asleep.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he slapped my stomach and proclaimed it a baby-free zone
I think I'm getting too used to throwing up in the reception trash can. It doesn't even phase me anymore
Incoming: this is a booty call. To accept, please reply with an appropriate time. To reject, please reply "N" and the information will be filed for future reference.
The cab driver was nice enough to let you finish your beer in the car, but you crossed the line when you started to pee in the empty bottle
It feels like I'm being stabbed in the uterus with a rake. That night was totally worth it though. Thanks.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have enough bourbon in me to put Justin's cat in the dishwasher.
Sext: Bring me pancakes from the midnight breakfast gathering please
I really should have gone with the man who kept offering me cocaine. Why did I chose the German!? STUPID!
How weird would it be for me to get 1 hour photos printed at CVS of my partially or all nude?
I can't handle more than one dick at once. I become crazy. It's hard to be mellow and free spirited and polygamous at the same time.
Currently rolling a blunt in the bathroom of Planned Parenthood
Randomize