His internet searches, listed chronologically: sex slave, volunteer sex slave, lava
By the way, I think my next facebook status update will read, "Aaron recently found out Vanessa's a screamer."
oh god.
Ive been tazing him too get him immuned. He will be unstopable.
Just filled up my pledge keg goblet with coffee at bp. They can judge all they want. At least I'm not killing baby dolphins.
No sexy Asian girl. No comfy bed. I'm just gonna lie here in the hall next to the garbage can until someone comes home.
If this nail lady pinches my achilles one more time im kicking her directly in her bedazzled boobs
I will be there. invited or not. I go where the pancakes go.
As the cops are taking us away I see the strippers taking our DD backstage.
Dude! We had to write our address on your arm in permanent marker so you wouldn't get lost. You just showed the cabbie your arm and he drove you! Nice guy.
Have you seen him ? Seriously. No one is that straight.
Yeah we fucked. I ran into her the next day, I had to pick up the girl scout cookies I ordered from her boyfriends kids.
LIKE ALL I WANT TO CURE MY HANGOVER IS PORKROLL AND LIKE 85% OF THIS COUNTRY DOESN'T KNOW WHAT IT IS
You start to question your morals when you wake up at 430 and there's three people naked...that you don't no
Bring shot glasses to the final. Don't ask questions.
Found your bra in my backseat. And yes it took me that long to finally clean it out from last weekend
Didn't even know it was missing, if that makes you feel any better
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