I'll collect that couch/porn sloopy beedge tomorrow just FYI
fucking a dude
i mean: fucking a, dude
wow, that comma made all the difference there
Why are handjobs necessary in class?
You know the gilmore girls would be alright if it was on mute the whole time
We went into lab today and when no one was looking i touched our cadaver's penis!
By the way, turns out "Danny B" is his penis. Not his cousin. I was right.
and then we had to stop you from trying to pour shots through your nose with the neti pot.
I have been drinking at the bar so long today that I literally just found a spiderweb from my leg to the bar.
My only regret is not throwing up on the conveyor belt in the dining hall
Because once my penis is in motion, it stays in motion unless another force acts upon it.
I was tied up in bed before noon, the rest of the day can go to hell.
I don't care how much you're grieving a loss, masturbating off the side of a roof is not acceptable mourning behavior.
When you put my balls in your mouth i just want to buy you expensive gifts...you know what i mean?
MY WHOLE FAMLY IS TALKING ABOUT MY BUTT
WAIT I'M COMING I WANT TO TALK ABOUT IT TOO
duddde i wasn't even home last night and someone elses clothes are on my floor and there glow sticks everywhere?!
Randomize
