the last time I saw her she was leaving the mens bathroom and club rush with her dress inside out. typical tease.
We had sex on my friends waterbed ..after that the whole school kept asking him if he had fun getting "sea-sick" last night.
I swear that when I have my own bathroom, I'm gonna lock myself in there and masterbate for at least 3 days in sheer appreciation of it.
I really super glued a paper bow tie to my body last night. I need to do less drugs.
advice for life: when the cop takes your tallboy, don't ask for your coozy back
My professors need to stop cancelling class. Bad things happen when I have too much free time on my hands. Bad things.
Some guy dressed like Santa just handed me a bottle of tequila. I NEVER WANT TO LEAVE CANCUN
Well, thats the first guy to go to jail because of my vagina
Post that event on your timeline
It was like coming out my mothers vagina again in slow motion
i still can't believe he got laid by going to the bar and handing out "cuddle buddy" application forms
He handcuffed himself to the keg... D is hooking up with him anyway.
I feel like it went downhill once I decided we should take $100 tequila shots.. oops lol
Head-banging is a very stupid way to injur yourself. But this opinion is also coming from somebody who can't walk right because they cut their asshole shaving last night, so it probably has little to no merit.
Kinda suprised you didn't immediately ask about the lesbian ghosts tho
The sex would be better if it wasn’t interrupted because his home detention ankle monitor needed charging. At least I know he’s not cheating on me
Do you even hear yourself?
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