It started with Hannah Montana and ended with alcoholism.
I swear if I see one more guy in a v-neck and fedora I'm going to punch someone in the balls. This is philly, you're not supposed to look like Ryan Cabrera
can you pick up eggs and chocolate sauce on your way home?
what kind of party is this?
the best kind ever
Fell off bed. Face first. 10 stitches. huge scar on forehead. totally going to start telling ppl my parents died fighting Voldemort.
someday when you wake up in a dumpster we'll have to have this conversation again...
I have to take his virginity. It's what God put me on earth for. It's my life mission.
Ummm. I just wanna say this now: Don't let me invite the band back to the apartment to see my stripper pole.
He showed up 3 hours late wearing roller skates and acted like nothing was wrong with that.
This guy randomly got in our taxi, and has now collapsed on the sofa anouncing that he's staying the night.
okay have fun. but Under NO circumstances ever attempt to outdrink the german exchange student. no matter how badly you want to blow him. just don't.
Just watched my roommate stuff a sandwich in his pocket because we're out of paper plates.
He asked me to hum the Ghost Busters theme song as I was going down on him
Just an FYI if we break up I'm going to sleep with your cousin or who ever my dealer is.
you smell like cheap hookers & chicken nuggets.
He was watching porn and riding a stationary bike in the living room
Randomize
