Three questions. How does a tomato drive a car, how does an asparagus play a guitar, and how am I still so high that I chose to watch Veggie Tales?
she's like bobby knight all she does is scream and point
yeah after seeing those pics of her puking into my underwear drawer i remembered again why i didn't want to invite her.
you didn't check your sock drawer yet did you
Yes i believe i did use that word. It culminated in a man wearing a corset thigh highs and stripper shoes. All mine btw.
It was mandatory to shotgun a beer before we were allowed to eat dinner
well he is only 50 percent black.. but after last night i am 100 percent not going back
Dnt forget 40 tuesday,dress nice! Like job interview nice, like funeral nice, like a couple muhfuckas sittin on their lawn drinkin forties on a tuesday nice!
he fucked me to the beat of the construction going on outside my house. i will never look at jackhammers the same ever again.
What are you doing and how can I add sex in there
there is something about beer and popsicles that make the world go round
Rush week is fine, only the t-shirts are white and if it rains, the frat boys in their lawn chairs will be treated to 800 freshmen girls in their first wet tshirt contest.
Welcome to college.
You shut your whore mouth, we don't talk about Drunk Nutella night.
He said the pain stops when I get my shit together and stop being a drugged out alcoholic mess. Could have just said no.
Just spent the morning washing Bailey's and Guiness out of my clothes -_-
I'd like to buy a season pass to your dick please.
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