so pretty much your parents know your seeing a girl on the side, let her come over and just dont say anything to your girlfriend?
well my last 2 orgasms were over shoe sales at macy's. what does that tell you?
just won a stolen shopping cart in a dance off in a parking lot.
I'm still trying to decide if it's a complement when he said "I'd like to subscribe to your daddy issues".
I think I might stay on campus instead of going home for thanksgiving and see how many townies I can hook up with and no one will be around to judge
Well, as a member of the greater american southwest gay community I just have to mark this as a total loss and you will be missed.
I've woken up in some weird places in my lifetime, but never in a tent in my own garage.
I even tried crushing up viagra and putting it in his beer... And the next day he found the package on the counter. I told him it was for my friends husband.
So after tonight I now have 6 Harry Potter movies left to get laid to. Before tonight it was 8. Fucking right
I felt so bad but my urge to be with you & drunkenly eat your face was apparently much stronger.
I'm pretty sure ignoring the person that just sent you a picture of their boobs is bad nude etiquette.
Bruh why you gotta judge
You're awake at 3:30 in the morning RSVPing to a musical, I'm well within my means
You can now call me Rabbi, and I can now perform weddings, funerals, and other services in all fifty states. You're welcome, world.
you have 30 seconds to convince me not to grab this guy's crotch in front of his girlfriend
I know you won't see this for awhile, but I had to tell somebody, and you're like the only person who won't judge me for having an accidental erotic encounter with General Tso's chicken.
Randomize
