i left the bar a little after you and ended up flipping my car in the arbys drive thru
I just saw a homeless man dressed as a pirate. I love san francisco.
Just spent five minutes taking pictures of my hands for some random guy.
Thanks for reminding me why I talk about you behind your back. Get laid.
Roller skating + drunkeness + peeing = mess
flashcards smell like vodka and my textbook is in the toilet. ready for the final
Another night, another sound of my neighbor almost having an orgasm.
And she used to have such long ones. Sad.
You do realize I got a panda tattooed on my ass just to get you laid, right?
surprisingly organic peanut butter is not the best chaser
Zombie crawl summary: 5 of 6 friends successfully laid. friend 6 too drunk to care and making out with a whale (not a costume)
That idiot. I'll see him on campus and he'll try and touch me like we're friends or some shit. 1.you're ugly 2. You dropped the blunt in the pool
I had to hypnotize my roommate last night so there's that.
You missed the winter stoner olympics last night....I got the gold in blunt rolling
I'm telling you, I 'm beginning to think that my vagina is magical.
when i was on the highway she passed out and knocked my transmission into nuetral with her forehead...that was an experience
I don't want too, lol. I'm currently awaiting my next period like its the second coming of christ
Randomize
