Dude I just peed on my pants. not in them though. and yes there is a difference
oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
There's two girls at the bar sniffing each others boobs.
Well, a cop just pulled up. This could go either way.
Decided against hooking up with creepy stalker guy for a ride to work. I feel I've earned a few self respect points back.
If she says "This is how acid feels" one more time I'm never trip-sitting them again.
There is blood on the door to my room, I have to go to sleep
I hooked up with Spider-Man on the hood of Santas car. I kept saying that he could shoot his web at me. Also I found Waldo. Overall good night.
Did you know they have a bouncer at Applebee's because I did not
Just laying in bed, snuggling my cat, and pondering whether I'd like to attend a swingers party this evening...
I told the cops they couldn't arrest me until they found my shoe. Now I have the grant county cops looking for my heels by the rail road tracks.
I remember walking into a bathroom stall that had a couple fucking in it and giving them a condom and a thumbs up and then leaving
There is a couple fucking in the outback bathroom and at first I thought it was sick but than I remembered my Outback fantasy with you and decided I can't pass judgements.
I think he may actually care that I call him slampiece instead of his real name. Who knew he had feelings?
I’m never getting home or fucked or eating hot Taco Bell fml
Randomize
