So you honestly dont remember putting honey in your bong? You kept talking about how you wanted to become a bee and fly
you threw up out the window, wiped your face with a twenty dollar bill, and threw that out the window too.
did we at least go back and get it?
how else do you think we got jack in the box...?
all her text said was "asdfhdaufhudshfuds" and i knew that meant come over
I took a picture of his ID so i could remember how to spell his last name and facebook stalk him later...I think he saw me do it
She's the only one so far who hasn't laughed at me naked.... I'm gonna marry her.
How do I discreetly dispose of sex toy packaging that is recyclable? What to do...what to do?
Are you coming to class or was the dick pic this morning your way of saying not today?
I know you're asleep, but I just had a motherfucking epiphany.
Growing a beard is gonna make smoking a pipe look so much more majestic
How do you tell a woman that you are seeing that the scars on your back are from her awesome-in-bed little sister?
Excuse you? I'm an asshole at least 90% of the time. Get it right.
dude idk where I am. fuckin like. there wheat field and a horizon and shit. I think I got on a bus? some dude named Sam gave me a pamphlet about Jesus.
It still amazes me Mike had to have neck surgery after eating me out so much.
I think a major source of concern would be the fact you snorted a shot. Who does that?
Once you start using "cuddles" as a code word for sex you'll never get real cuddles again
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