Did you know even strippers have to have GED's these days??
I have no idea. After the fireworks it all went to shit. Do you know why I woke up with a road sign?
no, throwing your underwear at it is not the solution to everything
Listen. I don't care if its "nontoxic" im not putting it in my fucking vagina.
I may hire someone just to sell my family the drugs they keep asking me for. It's cutting into my doing drugs time.
You told me my blanket felt like ground beef.
My sister was borrowing my phone when the sext came through. She just said "wow. He's got a nice dick!" Then went on like nothing happened. Outed by a dick pic and its no big deal. Best sister ever.
I only see on penis in this picture but I assume there is another lurking out of sight.
I hope to God it's not the new neighbors having sex, because what I'm hearing sounds like a mildly defective vuvuzela or a cow giving birth.
I was going through my settings and the phone randomly started playing "Crazy Little Thing Called Love" by Dwight Yoakum. Out loud. At full volume. I was shitting. There were 3 other people in the bathroom. I love iOS 7.
There's some random guy here dryhumping my kitchen door. If he is a friend of yours, please come and retrieve him.
She wanted me to stick my dick in the birthday cake she got me
I feel I should send an apology letter to my anesthesiologist.
do you think that identical twins have the same size junk? i just want to know your opinion before i find out.
I refuse to shit my pants for anyone except Cher and Christina Aguilera!
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