Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
i permit you to call me
you don't know how close you are to someone till they ask you to shave their ass.
Just took a beer bong out of snuffaluffagus's trunk. Your move
he legitimately fell asleep standing up at the club. everyone was impressed
A friday night jus isn't the same if the cops don't raid my dorm
I am not apologizing for rubbing my balls on your leg...that is a risk you take when you come out to the bar with me
The salesman looked at me like I was crazy when I explained the need for a headboard that had slats so I could handcuff people to it
So I passed out with my boxers on in the hotel jacuzzi at 5am.. The manager who kicked me out was pretty cute so I left my name and number for her at the front desk. I'm giving it a 50/50 she calls.
If you like her enough, bring her with. If not, eloquently cunt punt that bitch through the field goals of life.
This is America. Deny every slut accusation or own up to it
Actually let's just focus our energy on not getting committed to a psych ward.
I'm hoping you were seen by someone holding a frozen turkey at 230 in the morning
True friendship: When you can hold your best friend's hair and still eat your Stromboli at the same time.
I offer naked tickle fights and orgasms and you call it trouble. I call that Christmas.
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