Tell me exactly where it said it wasn't a unisex bathroom.
I went down on her for at least a half hour, She loved it, so I thought she'd recip. She said "I only do that if I know I'm getting something out of it."
SHUT IT DOWN.
With the way things had been going, I was never more excited for a person to cum
It's kind of sad that your greatest accomplishment today is that you stood up and didn't fall down.
my brother walked in while we were fucking, silently took my bong from my closet, saluted us and walked out.
You were throwing ham at people telling them you were the sandwhich fairy
Um please remind me to tell you what happened tonight. It involves wine, pain killers and firing a handgun in our apartment. Legit might be hiding from the cops this weekend.
I dropped my keys into the toaster and felt it push down as I pulled them out. Couldn't stop thinking it was a bad idea the whole time.
I still don't know how you've lived this long.
When someone's woman crush wednesday is an ultrasound of her unborn daughter...
I can't
Ur here to start shit and I'm here to light that shit on fire
I don't know, we got really drunk and I slapped her with an ear of corn.
i'm eating chex mix in the shower while texting. i feel accomplished.
And you hate the library
Yea but I love drugs and my grades
Btw I appreciate you as a friend for taking the time to validate my sluttiness
the yoga instructor with the "dirt" and "roots" tattoos is seriously mother nature. i get my period after ever session i have with her. i'm trippin' balls over it.
Randomize
