Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
sorry probably not gonna make it :( kinda tied up right now
sad face, r u gay?... wait like really tied up?
:)
so i used to love airports for the escalators... now its the bars... then the escalators after the bars
you could never motorboat her...you'd have to motor-titanic her
you were fixing your hair in the bathroom mirror and then fell backwards through the locked stall while she was in mid pee and fell on her lap.
some girl just asked me if I was that guy that hooked up with nine girls in one night. officially a local celebrity. gonna try and autograph her boobs.
I dont care how drunk you were. Making a bet with MY husband at MY wedding that you could seal the deal before he could is ALWAYS inappropriate!
So if I tell her fire is hot and it will burn her... she's probably just going to keep throwing her vagina at it huh?
WHAT KIND OF SELF RESPECTING 28 YEAR OLD WOMAN WAKES UP IN A FRAT HOUSE?!?'
The cougar kind?
I need a genital shamwow being this wet.
She's in labor and I'm doing shots. Whose the real winner here?
She can't even plan ahead to have toilet paper for her next shit
i woke up in a bed of pop tarts
He took a shot of vodka and AND ATE ME OUT AS A CHASER. YESSS. I AM IN LOVE.
I'm really excited to meet your new dude! But we really need to find out if he's your cousin first.
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