I had so many friends before that round of Never Have I Ever.
cant go down on her man, her vagoo reminds me of a face hugger from aliens
he just asked if i would like him to change his diet so his jizz tastes better. keeper? i think so.
he came over wasted, used the bathroom, drank some water, and fell asleep holding my hand. what kind of a fuck buddy does that??
No, I'm in the bathroom trying to scrub off the 16 tally marks on my wrist so its not so obviously to the world that I puked on a couch last night.
Just saw the guy with the plastic bag on his head riding his bike again...
So far, my day has been sparkling with the tears of a thousand rainbow unicorns. I'd say this is quality shit you've grown.
The only flat surface we had was a cheez it box so we snorted the blow off of that. Rock bottom really isn't that bad.
I know we were going to go hiking today, but I don’t think I can face reality until Wednesday
She showed up after 3 hours and proceded to make us all feel like resonable human beings. I dont know how she did it but she did it.
I'm turning into an adult here.
Adults touch each other's special zones.
every day is bullshit and fuck everyone. That's my motto for the week
He fucked me while wearing his night time breathing machine mask. Does this mean I joined the dark side and he is Darth Vader?
Somebody put William Shatner singing Bohemian Rhapsody on the jukebox, and the whole bar is about to riot.
Ok. Yes. He has a tiny penis. But he also has a trust fund.
Randomize
