I am not speculating about which disney princesses do and do not have gag reflexes
Don't worry. I just took 2 benadryls and beat off. I'm practically sleep texting
"fuck a duck" is spelled out in chinese food on my counter... im kind of nervous to search the rest of my house......
I'm stoned in an empty parking lot listening to dave matthews while looking for a lighter.... I feel like I sent this 7 years ago.
Come find me please? Im in a ditch.
That doesn't help me much...
I'm right under the moon!
he needs a life. he was like frothing at the mouth to cockblock you
I just had to MC for a middle school event with jizz on my dress. I'm going to hell.
I'm pretty sure I just need an IV drip of Plan B at this point...
So here's my pathetic thought of the day: what does it smell like to be sober?
And that facial hair. He might as well shave it so it spells "douche" on one cheek and "nozzle" on the other.
I was trying to remember why my knees hurt then I remembered I was twerking on the countertops.
Fucked him in his sketchy van in the Applebee's parking lot. In other news, my dry spell is over.
It wasn't exactly a dick pic. It was more like a body shot with a hint of wiener.
What's the plan?
Not sure. I think I'll take a dump on his windshield.
Highlight your past hook-ups. You've been stabbed, shot at, run over, and chased down the road...no you can't bring new bar bitch over here!
Dude she has a friend!!!!
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