sorry probably not gonna make it :( kinda tied up right now
sad face, r u gay?... wait like really tied up?
:)
i was just lookin through my fb pics and i think im with a cat in like 40% of them..: how sad is my life
You know your from las vegas when the girl on the stage in the strip club was in my US gov class senior year
And for 6 straight hours, I laid on my bedroom floor trying to convince myself it would perfectly acceptable to pee on my own floor
Peanut butter while high is kinda stressful
She's a Laker fan, her sister is a Celtic fan... no matter who wins I'm getting a celebration bj from one of them!
She somehow inhaled a tack last night, she's having surgery today.
sorry he hasn't talked to me since the surprise salvia incident...
If the river was whiskey, it would be the best river ever.
I am having the most awesome nonsexual conversation about my vagina right now
I think I was just recruited to join a religious lesbian cult by these 3 really pretty girls and I'm tempted to join
You went into the bathroom, got in the tub with a pillow, yelled "this isn't as comfortable as it looks in the movies" then passed out
Booze, boobs, blunts and batman. dude, I'm livin' the life.
These random guys found me. They told me not to wander in the woods and i remember saying 'am i fucking Bambi?! I'm not gonna walk into woods!' then i threw up.
How much beer/TP for a BJ? Trying to set my new rates.
Randomize
