I'm thinking we should try to start remembering stuff we do. Althought I kinda like feeling like Nancy Drew the next morning.
More like the Hardy Boys cause its kinda like a team effort.
If i off myself, it'll be in a lobster costume in the hot tub with butter...
he fucked my hip out of place.
OMG. if college stays like this, theres no way i wont be pregnant by first semester
She said, and I quote "how do you run with something that big between your legs".
I was scoping hash out of our weed jar with a spoon and I realized we need to buy actual utensils. This plastic shit is killing me I've broke 3 spoons
theres 5 guys on the side of the road with beads and their shirts off screaming at cars already.
She basically needs a man who will never act up and take all of her shit
I'm even having trouble finding a guy who's taller than me with no unibrow.. someone needs to tell her its time to lower her standards
I deem her datable let the dance of attraction commence
The realization of how permanent those tattoos really were set in this morning... I am SO sorry.
So... Apparently, "Home" isn't the correct response when a cop asks for your address...
Sorry that I was such a monster last night. It was the drugs, I promise.
Every day I wake up and there is no spectacular morning wood waiting for me I get so sad.
Come get your boyfriend. He is hammered talking to me about hot dogs and casinos.
Sorry for face licking, I probably won't do it again.
Also, I love cats. I sat on the floor and they sat with me.
Randomize
