I'm sorry that you just had your first misguided homo experience
The mystery has been solved. Seagulls have sex doggy-style.
While in Europe, he bought me a pouring tap to put on my liquor so I don't spill. This means 2 things.1) He really loves me. 2) I'm a noticeable alcoholic.
They had to restock the bar 3 times before midnight. There is a bridesmaid dress hanging in a tree outside.
He called his prostate his "boner button".
I started singing the national anthem on a train in London. Happy 4th of July assholes
The bank teller laughed at me....I'm apparently that fucking hungover looking
All I wanted was my $85. Judgement free. But nooooo
Thanks for bailing me out last night guys. it's bullshit that everbeering people at bars is illegal. bitches have no sense of adventure anymore
I mean you can't really blame him. He's named after whiskey and I don't get along with pants.
Tiny.
I mean tony. It's like autocorrect knows he wasn't well endowed.
Now theyre filling the kiddie pool water with boxes and boxes of jello powder and im not sure if thats a sign i should leave or what
She pretty much spent NYE measuring dicks, trying to decide which one to take home.
don't bring your nerd jargon into this conversation about my naked body
One day I'll learn not to get drunk on a plane. Today is not that day.
And I got shut down by a ginger. It was a weird night
Randomize
