I actually just cleaned easy glide lube off my desk. My life has gone way down hill since I met you.
Did you dl zombie porn on my computer?
all i know is i woke up with a braid in my hair and i vaguely remember a cab driver telling me he would give me $10,000 to get him a green card. and he would take me to turkey. and give me free cab rides. im never drinking on my medicine again. lol.
You'll be the guy with the raft that sells burritos on the river. You'd be legendary.
Breaking hearts and overdosing on semen. That's my life.
i left after you tried to balance a shot of tequila on your head while screaming at the bar tender that you fucked his girlfriend
I don't care how high you are, you can't finger me while eating potato chips.
welp wont be popping out a kid with a beret. frenchie is gone and the mother nature showed herself. bilingual kid can be erased from the bucket list
We had to leave. Dave knocked a dude out for saying yolo.
Thanks for taking care of me. I hope I didn't pee in your car.
All i remember is you yelling at a stop sign and the rest is a blur
He threw up on my head while I was blowing him, and then I started barfing, and the kitchen floor was a mess. Believe me, he will never, ever live this down.
Went to the lab to print and realized the guy next to me was the one we stole all the beer from last night..... Oops
it's like my ID runs away from me when it knows it's time for me to drink
I look over and the both of you are naked, and he's eating chicken nuggets off the floor
Randomize
