Let's bang like we're on a Lifetime Channel movie.
We had sex on the first date...do you think he thinks I'm a whore?
Yes and so do I
i might even pee on it at walmart i am so nervous
He's like the fucking Houdini of bras. Not only did I not feel him take it off I didn't find it until two days later.
He kept saying that the puke outside the theater wasn't his and it was all a set up to keep him from partying with the whores. Then he passed out on the sidewalk.
a small fire erupted but we put it out with a can of beer so everything's fine
I have now hooked up with 8 of the Apostles. I have no idea where I'm going to find a guy named Bartholomew.
Waking and baking has revolutionized how i brush my teeth. Seriously up to like 25 min everry morn. Highly recommend
vodka bottle broke. scooping it out of the plastic tub with a shot glass into a sprite bottle using a ziplock bag as a funnel and straining the glass out with paper towels. good thursday night?
I don't know what I should tell you tell you. I don't want to encourage you to dye my dog.
I draw, I play three woodwind instruments, I press buttons for eight hours at work and Im studying to be a gynecologist... I guarantee I can make you squirt, babe.
He must have found my secret supply of blow and took a bump before we left the house. Rude.
He could of at least asked
Sean slept in the bushes beside my house again. Any reason he kept screaming/slurring 'it was all a bunch of goddamn lies' through out the night?
Just put me in your contacts as coyote
the hot lifeguard just pulled a McDonald's cheeseburger out of her fanny pack.
Randomize
