i just went dwnstairs and there are 5 guys without their shirts on hugging each other. i think i should leave now
Yet again my drunken self has managed to find his way into the middle of nowhere with no shoes or recollection of what happened last night.
Then I guess you don't remember me driving you there after you tried making out with my girlfriend, dipshit.
Ok so my english teacher told me i could have 5 absences bc of my "problem". I have no idea what she is talking about
It's a big world.....someone has to fuck it.
Well were gunna have to wash the couch cover now...maybe even the couch, soap or fire your decision
I accidentally peed all over the couch. It's safe to say I'm not welcome at that house anymore
Only I could run tino my father in law while looking at condoms at Rite Aid. At 730 on a Thursday morning. I'm in trouble.
Drunk puking in my bathtub has plugged it up for the third time this year. I hate these calls to my landlord.
It is 9pm, let the ass parade to the bars begin
I've come to the conclusion that Jesus and 2013 are haters.
I just overheard an "I'm going to get your dick so hard" conversation at Costco.
I put his pb&j sandwich in my bra and never looked back
At least get laid and waffle fries out of it you whipped basterd
Live it up bro, they're always so surprised to find out you use magnums, being such a tiny man and all. It's a good thing.
Okay so as of now, we may either be coming for one night, two nights, or not at all this weekend. It depends on Laura's toe and if I get my period. Will explain later
Randomize
