check it out our google latitudes are spooning
He just posted pic of sad weiner and half a butt cheek. That is it. I HATE online dating.
I need a legitimate reason as to why the microwave door is in the shower
We decided I could make bicurious-jitos or ho-meh-jitos or heteroflexible-jitos. But not homojitos.
I just had my first boner in 64 days today....glad to find out my fluids are still pumpin
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
Bring gay.
By that I meant the rum. I just realized that my request made no sense. You always bring gay.
For only eating leftover pizza for breakfast today, you sure do have a lot to vomit up...
On my way, five mins. Is the line long? Do you think they will they hold a pumpkin at coat check?
Thanks to you and Ketel One I now have a court summons with the actual word "frolicking" on it.
I have fuck me eyes 4/5 people agree. It's like doctors or dentists but with ppl who have lots of sex and know these things.
I gave him morning sex, a bag of cookies, and dropped him off at work. I believe I deserve the "best hookup award."
I know. I'm a saint. Saint of sitting on faces.
I just motorbotted some guy and my hair got stuck in his nipple ring...owww
if I start to respond to these political texts with a middle finger emoji - do you think they will get the hint?
Randomize
