well recently, every guy I have hooked up with has been economy sized
I think in growing up..I've been having a hard time masterbating to fictional characters
I am trying to think of a way to make alcohol cupcakes
She's never going to forget it... Christmas Anal.
Just an FYI: The offer for you to come snow blow my driveway in return for sexual favors is still on the table
I just called my mom 'Napoleon bronaparte'. I need to stop hanging out with you.
I just sent her mug shot out in a mass text because I hate her and her cocaine eyes are hilarious.
If you want to borrow my flask for all future interviews as a good luck charm because your last one went so well with it in your suit pocket, just let me know
His roommate left already and took the beer pong table so we had to take off his bedroom door. Maybe res life won't notice.
8:30 every morning in the third floor bathroom we fuck in the handicap stall. You have your morning workout and I have mine.
I think that's mostly how we became friends.
Well that, and your desire to put your penis in me.
Everyone here knows me as 'that chick who will most likely steal your girlfriend'. My 99% success rate tells me this name is acceptable.
Yeah, but I think it would be a little awkward to explain to Mom that the girl I brought for lunch is not my girlfriend but just a fuck buddy who I met after she hit and totaled my car last month.
That is romantic
Well sometimes you just gotta put your dicks and pizzas together to show you care
What did the sign say that bob stapled to his ass?
Randomize
