we got blazed and looked up peoples criminal records
he just chased his shot of tequila with a chicken nugget.. either its a canadian thing or hes wasted
I have fruit by the foot roll-ups. I wonder if a man could tie them together and make an editable bra....
I find it very uncomfortable that I need to ask you to stop sending me pictures of your stomach
At what point does "I'm too high to deal with you right now" stop being rude?
I'm at the hospital waiting for my sister to push out her kid. I think I'll roam the halls and shame all the teenage mothers.
There is booty call etiquette, and he just isn't following it. I'm not making you breakfast, gtfo.
Well. Your father was, shall we say, privately surfing the Internet when he found a video of you and Kevin. This was on a very public website honey.
By the way, Kevin! OMG good catch honey!
New BDSM fun fact. When you get spanked hard enough with a flat object, you get welts. Welcome to thunderdome, bitches.
It's a lube slip n slide down the hallway now. Details later.
I climbed out of the shower to him sitting on the floor trimming his pubes with nail clippers, we both just started laughing at how drunk we were
I'm torn between wanting to wear lipstick and wanting to make out with strangers.
the girl next to me was drawing sonic the hedgehog on her exam what the fuck
godspeed
Heeyy... sorry I got so drunk. You probably don't ever want to see me again. Thank you for dealing with me when I tried to jump over the deli counter for some mayonnaise.
there is a tent in the living room. its a vip tent room. i want in.
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