Just gargled Fireball to get the fish taco taste out of my mouth. Almost as good as gum.
The size of her hoop earrings are directly related to how much of a slut she is.
i will be the first lesbian to ever fail women's studies.
He sent me a pic and IT CURVED OUT OF THE PICTURE! Curved. Out. Of. The. Picture.
but i'm paying and its not a date cause he's got a gf and i'm hooking up with his roommate tomorrow night
It was honestly the most delicious alcohol I've ever drank, plus the added risk of going blind from methanol poisoning really enhanced the experience.
theres a kid in a leopard robe and sunglasses filling up a gas tank. i miss college
Well, I'm getting my ex-boyfriend to get me a z pack to cure the chlamydia I got from my married fuck buddy so that I can fuck one of my students.
If you two are having sex, stop. I have something really important to ask you about psychics.
Lets just say that a certain piercing set off certain alarms when I went thru the airport detector/scanner thingie. David was high fived like 12 times.
Strip mythology. Everyone wins. Most of all me.
He slapped my ass and his clap-on light turned on.
Also I like this area. Lots of places for me to get tacos.
She wanted to get out of there before you guys woke up so she wouldn't let me find my underwear. Lol So I apologize to whoever finds that in your room.
I made it out of the house. Success.
It's not better out here. I'm at Target hyperventilating in the aisles.
Randomize
