At least we don't have one night stands
True that. We sink our claws in our men.
have you ever wondered what it would feel like to stick those coneheads in your vaj
omg every time its on
Thanks for the birthday present, i had so much fun playing with it
Are you talking about my vagina?
Your the only friend that would realize I'm gonna get drunk and send coke to me at a bar before I made drunken phone calls for it. You sir complete me.....
The sex I just had was not worth missing a girls night out.
I have jerked off in every room in your house. *the more you know
Ong my arms are moving wo my consent
Just so were clear I meant the head your face is on
I told him I wanted to "ride him like a show pony" I think he gets the picture
I know you`re my best friend, but when i wake up with this bad of a hangover and no memories of last night, i dont want to see your tits ad my background.
You tried tipping the cashier at Cook Out by shoving a dollar bill down his shirt and yelling "Magic Mike"
I wish I had a picture of me and ron helping that stripper lick her own vagina
Watching a guy masturbate in real time is a lot less theatrical than porn had me to believe.
My sexual preferences tend to require a degree in psychology to understand
My mom found your leather pants in our guest room. She doesn't want to know why they are there, she just wants to know if you want them washed.
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