I may or may not have just irish jigged at a bar. And broken out in a sweat from it. Not a good sign for that marathon yo.
im guessing your the one that tried to make bacon in the toaster
My cha cha got a haircut
thank god. going down on you was like chewing on astroturf
some guy just walked up to the bench i was on, backflipped off of it, gave me his number and walked away....i love this city
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
fine. I googled it. you have to eat 5 to die so apparently I'm in the clear.
no dont talk to me..because of you my bar tab was more expensive than my hospital bill
the guy was wearing a viagra shirt, i knew what i got myself into.
Today might be the day that I legitimately throw up in my saxophone.
i chased bacardi with meat sauce last night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
12 trash cans filled with water. Beer cans floating in each, 12 ft apart. Dodgeball. Ultimate beer pong.
Rules. We have to wear superhero outfits
People shouldn't leave you two alone together. You're just going to end up having sex.
I'm going to have to have a long talk with god if my soul mate has a prince albert
Don't judge me like that. At least the house is getting cleaned. If I have to drink and listen to Disney music on repeat for that to happen, so be it.
I thought my holiday spirit was gone this year until I got banged to Christmas music. It's back.
You set a couch on fire in my brothers backyard?
Just the cushions
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