I mean we're not committed. He's my first choice, sort of like miller lite. When I'm at the bar I'm going to order one, but if they don't maybe I'll go for a bud or blue moon. I'm certainly not going to stop drinking
I like one night stands...theyre like crushes for big kids
Reason #1 for no sex outdoors: Mosquito bites. Awkward, awkward mosquito bites.
She started crying. I don't think she's gotten head from a sax player before.
so the last visual we have of him for the next 87 weeks is him outside on the ground rolling around yelling I HATE BLOWJOBS
Did you rob me and blame it on the strippers?
We had sex under a tree in his boss's backyard, then I hooked up with his best friend. I don't even care how I got home.
I may or may not have just ruined a marriage. But in my defense I got all my drinks for free tonight.
I wish we knew morse code and could knock to each other through the wall
most of the afternoon was spent sneaking around my house and alternating which bathrrom to throw up in.
I'm wearing green eyeshadow so even if I end up totally naked I still won't get pinched.
I told her my blood type was O Positive and we started making out. Bio majors are weird.
he has the ass of a greek god and he made me breakfast
he can suck his own dick, i cant compete with that
and eventually we just all took our pants off
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