i need gas-x and some way to take back every single thing i did last night.
i am officially better prepared for a hangover tomorrow than i was for christmas.
Oh my god, I hid a wine bottle in my boot.
you yelled "who's job is it to keep me from breaking shit" and then immediately ripped off the molding as you fell down the stairs.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I told her that if she blew me I would give her the empty pizza box in the fridge.... Why did she agree?
Congratulations, you are no longer the only person who has watched me drunkenly pee on their furniture.
second roommate of the year to get clamydia. go life.
Just woke up from a dream where I had lesbian sex with myself (a clone of me)... Take that, Freud!
You can't be friends with my side piece. Conflict of interest.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You did a cartwheel, it was terrible.
I remember that cartwheel, it was okay.
LOOK, I was 19, and I made a lot of choices with my crotch which I'm weirdly proud of
Yes dear.
We had sex on the tiger blanket while I was wearing my Ukrainian shirt and my ass touched the Ukrainian flag. Happy 25th Ukraine!
She flashed us last time and pissed all over the floor this time. I'm scared to invite her back.
All I want to do is lay in my bed and eat hotdogs
Typically a man doesn't buy a woman a drink in hopes of her laughing at his penis, but no one said I was normal.
Randomize