Milquetoast, coolest word ever.
I don't know what's more sad: The fact that he fingered the side of my leg, or the fact that the side of my leg feels like a vagina.
The night ended with a lot of tears and everyone singing along to Willenium
its a long story involving jim bean, an owl, and a knife
the weed was in a baggy that had little penguins on it. i am so excited you have no idea
I think mom knows I'm drunk I put a full blown balloon in the fridge.
Dude. That is just waaaay to much random to process after that tequila battle.
I'm good. We walked you back to my apartment and you demanded to eat the sandwich I made for him
You should never be more than a quarter of a mile from a working toilet
Preach!
I think you should do the fixer upper relationship. Like lawyers do pro bono work with underserved populations, you can do pro bono relationship work.
I wiped my ass with some girl's sock, I would honestly admit if I hate Caitlin's sandwich.
Just found a note on the bed that said "Dear mittens, had to leave early I'll be back soon."
WTF? Are you mittens?
Never drinking before a 6am train again. Just threw up at boarder control and had to pretend it was cause I was pregnant and not cause I trashed.
You make Europe seem so glamorous.
We're sort of like brothers. Except with more sexual tension. And we don't look alike. Or are related.
So we're not much like brothers really.
I need weed and if he's hot, maybe he can supply me with sex too.
Randomize