my ass just sighed. even my farts are tired.
Where are I am going home with Ryan
I don't know who this or Ryan is but it is probably too late to talk you out of it
you handed me your bra at the bar and said 'hold my purse'
Did i throw a brick at someone last night?
My dad just told the waiter to keep the pitchers coming until someone passes out.
Woke up to the sound of my own moans coming from the tv....evidently it was videotaped.
Sorry girl, my dick is like a rollercoaster. You only get a picture after you ride
Just fucking put out. It'll be a good lay, promise. Stop being a prude. Damn it. A boy is trying to put his penis in you. APPRECIATE IT.
I had 5 long islands and 2 alien brain hemorrhages…I am entirely certain that the "power hour to finish the night" idea was just too much.
If a vagina could give out awards, you should be preparing an acceptance speech.
Occasionally I curse my inner 15 year old when I'm fulfilling their dreams as a slut, but I roll with it.
please come back they are interrogating me about masturbation
1. Why did we have the team Chirstmas party in November 2. Why didn't anyone tell me the coaches were invited 3. Why did coach get the giant vibrator I brought
I've spent hours masturbating before. It's actually my favorite Sunday activity
I'm pretty sure I naked in my first year of college more than I was as a baby.
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