i can't wait to go to hell
yeah...all of my friends will be there for sure
we're getting ready to take strippers to breakfast. I love my life.
watching hot guy on train scrolling with his blackberry's track ball... o to be that track ball...
he squeezed my boobs like he didn't know what else to do with them, then turned down head...
told you he was gay.
Why is your vibrator in the fridge?
I'm testing sex in Alaska before I go there.
You fell asleep leaning on my shoulder at the bar
And after getting thrown out of the frat house, getting carried up the hill for a half an hour, puking 5 times, and almost getting stopped by campus security, she still insisted he sleep with her. Gotta give her credit, even blacked she kept her eyes on the prize
We broke up in downtown Nashville with drunken, blow up penis waving bachelorette parties walking by. For some reason I can see this ending up as a country music video.
He is currently pregaming mini golf. MINI GOLF.
After my date left I rallied and took the Asian girl home. Flexibility my friend.
I met his dad. Turns out he was a one nighter from the nurses conference in Vegas. Not sure how to handle this one.
Clearly, you already have. Both of them.
Powdered alcohol is a real thing now. Move over crystal light... Water bottles rejoice!!
never stay at a party until 5am. even if it's because of daylight savings. we ended up having to watch porn with the host's dad...
After sex he brought chocolates and said he loves RuPaul's Drag Race. How many points does he score for that?
he invited me over. we listened to jazz, smoked weed, then cerebrally fucked each other over a three hour game of chess
Randomize
