just as he was about to cum he started shouting "I THINK I CAN! I THINK I CAN!" over and over again.
he was pretty good aside from the whole putting his tongue on my butt thing
That shit is worth it...they got medicine for that now a days
Bath mats should not be used at mops. they don't work. consider this a drunk psa
He gave me a hug and said "He doesn't deserve you, Anna. Your boobs are great, and I'd fuck you anytime. Any. Place." I need a new 'gay' friend.
I got stood up on a date. They are singing "dancing with myself" on karaoke in my honor.
I hate him and his pretentious your-sleeping-in-the-wet-spot look.
I know it sucks but it's just something that needs to be done though. Like shaving ur pubes or going to the dentist.
I just found a video of you asking to be a whale with me.
Blacked out last night, but left myself a note that said "oops on oops on oops" that can never be a positive
Actually some of the best sex I've had involved a lot of laughing.
How small IS your cock?
Bring a bathing suit and your good liver.
My good liver is still at the dry cleaners. Will my backup liver suffice?
Maybe
Took my plan b at Costco today, sample Sunday for the win.
Omg i got really stoned and used a makeup app on my grandma...well, I’m definitely not adopted
I hate when I'm sexting and I make a typo.
You just killed the sext mood.
Randomize
