Remember in school when they told us our vag was made just the right size for our future husband? I must say I am enjoying trying to find that perfect fit.
Using your Catholic School education as an excuse for this? Why didn't I think of that?!
The girl in the white might have stds. I'm strangely okay with this.
you were cooking a hot pocket with a grill lighter what did you want me to do
i just remembered i chipped my tooth last night when i pulled up your pants zipper with my teeth
The guy I wanted to make out with just got beat up, let's roll.
Ok seriously I'm living off of bologna but I have 4 handles in the freezer.
Things got outta hand once she told me to water-board her with Patron.
I can't tell you details but at one point I had her pee strapped to my back in a ziploc
I just saw that blonde chick you wanna bang rolling down the hall wearing a Thor mask..
Wow. We're meant to be..
he said good things come in small packages and I decided to hook up with someone else
Mischief managed.
YOU ARE NOT A MARAUDER, WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO NOW?
I miss you.
Yeah, I don't want to have sex.
I'm going to get drunk, come back, call my grandma, and eat all those scrambled eggs.
We had everything under control until this one jackass fucked up. Thanks, Peter.
PROBABLY?!! And here I was, about to buy you a glow-in-the-dark banana-flavored cock ring... Now I "probably" won't.
Randomize
