Remind them to make the "above the influence" commercial about us fallin off a ferris wheel
I just caught myself doing the gator chomp to my tv. I need to get laid.
test run with donkey pinata disastrous. broken glass and tequila EVERYWHERE
I'm tangled in a fishing net down at the harbor. This has nothing to do with Captain Morgan. Bring wirecutters.
And after that you guys started calling arbor mist "breakfast juice"
She's working this semester. Her dad saw he was listed as 'the atm' on her phone and cut off tuition for three months.
It's 3 in the morning and there is a bird chirping it's head off outside. GOD DAMNIT THIS IS NOT A TIME TO SING OF YOUR CHEERFUL BIRD MERRIMENT YOU STUPID BIRD CUNT!
She told me to pick her up in the corner of shame and self-disgust.
2 hours later, she made her cat watch the waterfall scene from Homeward Bound to teach her how good she has it here.
Also, if asking a guy to come over and watch curling with you doesn't scream let's fuck then idk what does
you need a warning label. Just announcing that you are Scottish is seen more as a challenge. Those guys have no idea what they are getting into.
I was just going for a one night stand and now I'm at breakfast with his entire family.
I'm not coming to work today because tequila
dad is drunk and texting us pictures of bread
What are you talking about? Keg stands at wedding are super classy.
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