my boyfriend just told me he used to have genital herpes. I was gonna have sex with him, but now it's SOOO over.
what kind of stupid fuck tells you that BEFORE sex? he is definitely not a keeper.
i was wearing footie pjs. how could there be confusion as to who i hooked up with, thats not something you forget
Btw sorry for throwing that bag of ice at your face lastnight....
I don't think there was a moment this weekend where grey goose did not course through my veins
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just ordered 30 klonopins from India that could probably be anything from Viagra to Midol. You need to find another friend to get advice from right now
I just realized in a weird reversed way I hustled a stripper last night
i hate going to her parties because i always know everyone there which means everyone knows my ex which means i wont get laid
I don't need to know how horny your mother is, hun.
Senior week was like trying to herd cats. Very drunk cats.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm sorry I tried to stab you. I just really wanted those mozerella sticks.
It's not as funny as it sounds. I shit myself at the company Christmas party.
He literally said from now on he's always banging chicks with asthma becuas it's such an ego booster
If its not for food we ain't going out.
He wore pink swim trunks on our date and repeatedly insulted my profession, but his cat kept standing up like a person to nuzzle my face and I felt like a Disney Princess. I hate this dude, but the cat is too amazing for me to not fake interest for.
I just saw a girl on the phone crying and eating a sandwich. Thats talent right there.
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