i want to give my vagina back to god and say no thank you
You were yelling in my ear let's double team her with her right next to us
Just did ten shots in 8.34 minutes........ Slowly getting over the loss
I just found a 2 minute video on my phone of you throwing up in a fake plant.
Yah, I guess one silver lining is I'd never seen a full water cooler get thrown down a flight of stairs, gotta appreciate the little things
He was uncircumcised
It was like inception. A penis within a penis within a penis
Well on the plus side I have started adding benefiber to my bottle of wine
fuck it. from now on whatever room i wake up in, i'm stealing clothes from. this walk of shame shit is too much without pants
There's green glitter on my nipple rings. #mardigras2013
We were in the middle of fucking and she was just like "Do ya wanna play Harry Potter Scene It?" I musta been really bad lol Anyways, her tattoo healed nicely.
Negotiating with my body. We're ok. Violent upheaval is not necessary.
I'm watching Russian dudes pole-dance. For research.
I mean it could have been worse, I could have been sober.
I am NOT pregnant
My barren womb can FUCK WHOEVER I want
It all started with a game of naked twister.
Randomize
