porn star on stage now. Get unkicked out.
people and things i regret. that's what i want to do tonight.
nothing like morning wood sex at 4pm. funemployment ftw
i have a picture in my phone of you with a bottle of tequila in your back pocket. i believe you were saying "pocket of champions" or something along those lines
My head. My head is the problem. Also alcoholism.
apparently we spent 30 minutes inside that big Nike store turning all of their Duke gear inside out. for some reason the employees didn't stop us.
Ryan learned the all important lesson tonight; Red Bull gives you wings, Jaeger gives you gravity.
We're at the urgent care down the street from you if you care to stop by
Im in the bathtub drunk. Less than an hour before the interview. This will be the best or worst career move ever., support?
I was living a snoop dogg song I fucked her on the floor so I wouldn't mess up my bed
When the state fair security guard came to yell at her for having outside food and drink she threatened to kick him if he tried to stop her and then she proceeded to chug the whole bottle.
classic
For a guy who won't fuck me, your dick is out a lot when we talk.
I'm both gender and math confused
I’m gonna slowly take you in my mouth and push you deep into my throat so my lips are right up against your body and then I’m gonna fucking bite your shit off if one more of our friends shows me a snap you took while I was giving you head. Are we clear?
We can have bacon on the roof while tanning
My purse is full of condoms and money.
I like where this is going...
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