Yea. The knew something was up when i told them i had to go pick up goat milk and and and a roasted chicken at 2 am
he told me he had a problem with me going both ways. like what the fuck. what guy says that to a girl? goodbye planned threesomes...
Class is significantly more awkward when you know that your teacher knows what you look like with your legs behind your head... Just saying.
It was one of those "wake up holding a random metal flower" kind of nights.
I piss off the neighbors just so I can have someone to compete with.
A kid in my class today just asked if we have class on the 17th, then announced that he couldn't go anyways because it was the day after his 21 and he was going to be too hungover
And all I ask is the occasional "welcome home from work" blowjob.....and for you to fold my laundry. I hate folding laundry
It's like a harem of immaturity and bad ideas...and that's coming from me
I saw a shooting star while he was eating me out at 3am by my neighbors pool. Doesn't get more magical than that
She kept asking for cigarettes, than just put them in her purse as "savings"
It could happen. I haven't creeped the rest of the guest list yet.
Just creeped. Everyone is a passable 7. Orgy is a go!
If you buy me a steak I will make the extra effort to ride you. If not, I'm just gonna lay there.
Too bad, iambic pentameter is a drunk specialty of mine.
What're you gonna do with the rest of your night?
Probably watching cooking videos and fantasizing about pie
million dollar idea: razor dispensers in bar bathrooms. your welcome, girls who didn't think they were getting laid tonight.
Randomize
