mark looks like s**t tonight! thank da lawd we broke up!
it's mark...i'm guessing you didn't mean to send that to me...
I drank enough to make her look pretty . . It worked and i threw up while going at it
I just had to have my mom look at my penis to figure out what it was. How do you think my day is going?
he just sent me a friend request on facebook. i wish it were physically possible to vomit on him through the internet.
And people are going to start dressing like that in public, it's just ridiculous, the goths and now the GAGAs
It tastes like I coughed up blood....hello liver damage, I've been expecting you.
I just wanted to clarify that I am not bisexual and had no intentions of ACTUALLY penetrating my roommate with a can of bugspray.
Is it penis luge time yet?
Facebook stalking ex-girlfriends who went to rehab. This is my life.
The fact that there are multiple ex-girlfriends who have been to rehab concerns me
I wanna fuck that hideous moustache right off your face. get the confetti ready for the festivities
Definitely broke my toe and messed up my knee walking back. Drink hitch hiking should never happen again.
Thinking about wearing all black to the bar tonight since I'll be attending my liver's funeral.
I know he’s a bad decision but he's casual, his penis is amazing and his technique is on point.
I need to get all the one night tinders in my system before I move back in with my parents
he told me I was hypnotizing him with my mouth so I guess I do give good head
Randomize
