You were playing beer pong by yourself. Finally someone took the ball and threw it into the bonfire. You sat by it, cried, and contemplated how to get it out. For 45 minutes.
still haven't packed clothes. only wine. gotta love spring break
There's a guy at this party taking all the unfinised beers and pouring them into a pitcher so he can drink them tomorrow.
if women knew the size of my dick, theyd be much more receptive to my sloppy drunken advances
you were sitting on your bed looking out the window, rocking back and forth naked, saying how peaceful it looked outside
Ha ha. You should see the things I'm doing to my body at Bob Evans.
I'll probably regret it tomorrow. But right now, accepting this $2000 credit card so that I can finance booty calls from across the united states sounds like a golden idea.
Woke up shivering behind the titty bar, With the worst leg cramps. I'm like a poster boy for responsibility.
I'll answer your question with a question: Are you gonna be too high?
Hey. There is naked girl with "plz don't touch her. She just turned 21" sharpied on her chest. What happened last night?
I've never had goosebumps on my dick before. It was definitely not a bad feeling.
It was like an ecstasy filled massage for my vagina.
That's the best compliment I have ever received.
He can kiss the multicultural 3 some goodbye
I woke up in my basement holding someone else's underwear and a bottle of mouthwash . I wish I could explain more than that but i can't remember ...
That sounds good. I'd totally blow you somewhere quick but im not in the frame of mind to think of a place
Be outside in 5
Randomize
