drinking colt 45 because lando calrissian told me to
FYI, if you pee in my bed (or even let R___ and E___ sleep in it), I will fart loudly during your wedding vows. Trust.
How would you go about getting a hold of the country star that you slept with and are now potentially pregnant with their baby...?
myspace Music?
Wednesday. Otherwise known, to you at least, as "there are two gay men in my bed" day.
FUUUUUCK she froze all my quaters inside the ice cubes again
She literally called herself a shamefully bad decision. Of course I slept with her. Best bad decision ever
Escaped ambulance. Meet me at your apartment.
We just for robbed for the second time. I believe the only thing I have left to my name is my $75 dildo
by the time the kitchen caught on fire everyone was too drunk to be alarmed. the host just poured beer on it to put it out. how was yours?
But today feels so special with katie getting herpes and me cleaning my room. Good things are happening.
I feel like I just lived out a children's book called "The Day I Went to Law School Stoned"
looked up people from my old yearbooks. 3 ex boyfriends are gay. im getting drunk now.
Can you get the dildos out of the shower before the maids come?
When God closes one door, he opens up a taller, smarter, more successful door, with a bigger cock and nicer teeth.
Can’t. Tonight’s a netflix and dick night
Randomize
