I stuck it in and pulled it out
Did she like it?
She giggled?
She liked it
As of this morning, vodka still has the other side of my BFF necklace. She treats me right.
Since my computer broke, i've been masterbating to girls gone wild. I feel like i'm in the 90's.
she thought the capital of kansas was topanga.
I think I would be able to remember how to smoke but I can't seem to remember how to breathe.
As I climbed in the bathroom window from the room I noticed both him rommates staring and talking about me in the hall...
She stopped mid hookup to ask me if we'd be done before Taco Bell closed.
We just started the day with vitamin bombs. Daily vitamin + whatever's left in your glass from last night = feel like a champion
I just can't deal with that sentence
The alcohol tastes like we did a beer run at the nail salon
If i'm forever fucked up in this state of mind then I'm going to kill him for this
HE LEFT ME THE DAY AFTER I LET HIM PEE ON ME. If you date him after that, I'll leave the fucking PLANET.
I'm not in bed, I'm driving and puking at the same time.... first for everything
I don't think Buddha would recommend a sexscpade across Mexico
He walked into me masturbating to a framed picture of Bill Murray riding a t-rex
i woke up on the floor in front of the fireplace and my last google search was "fuck sponges"
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