He's telling me stories about how he made out with a 14 yr old when he was 22. I'm going home.
I knew you were gonna be a good wingman when the words "dibs on the chunky one" came out of your mouth.
you took out flashcards at the bar and went around asking guys what totalitarianism meant.
he sent me a picture of his dick with a heart border around it
Kegger tonight. 10pm. $5 coverfor unlimited booze. Proceeds benefit nuns from Uganda. Bring friends. No shit.
He took shrooms and didn't want anyone to touch him. He kept saying he was a chip and he didn't want to break.
Wait, is this the kid that tried catching a bat in your backyard with a flashlight and a ball of tin foil?
Want to come over? I'm getting stoned and watching Netflix and making s'mores over a candle in my room
I just flicked a lizard out of the window with a bud light in one hand and spatula inthe other...dont tell me you dont miss the south
We got buck wild in our animal onesies last night. You kept ripping off your tail in angry rages.
I take to many stalker pics of him. If he ever looks through my phone he'll never give me sex again :(
So really what you're asking for is an allowance to not have sex on our futon.
In my drunk state I was like I ONLY HAD SEX WITH SOMEONE ELSE BECAUSE HE WAS THE HOTTEST GUY IVE EVER EVEN SEEN
your were asleep with people making out on top of you. you didn't even look bothered by it.
Here’s how sick I am. I’m not hungry. I don’t want coffee. And I don’t want dick. So, you know it’s bad.
Randomize
