Is it possible to jerk off a nipple?
the entire time we were hooking up i couldn't stop thinking about the bengals. thoughts?
He showed me a four inch blond hair that grows out of his side. He calls it his little ray of sunshine. Please come get me.
I just got while a charlie horse while orgasming...most confusing feeling ever...
You just kept saying "they don't make cigarettes for squirrels. Yet."
GOOD NIGHT DREAM OF ALCOHOL SNO CONES
I definitely made out with a high school student last night while his sister and my brother were in the same room. I think we're all traumatized by the situation.
The other night I NICELY told her she looked like Jack Sparrow
I went from naked with lasts nights hookup to Ihop in 6 minutes flat
I think that's a new house record
The nice lady at the neighborhood liquor store informs me that we have a new woman-run neighborhood sex shop. Jesus loves me and wants me to have a happy Valentine's day.
How do I convince my friend not to get tattoo tributes to her cats?
WHO DOES THAT
I told her it'd send up tons of red flags and she responded by telling me they're her babies. And she's sober.
I don't care what you say about him, his cock is the stuff dreams are made of.
WHY DID HE INTRODUCE ME TO HIS MOM? CAN'T HE JUST HIDE ME LIKE EVERYONE ELSE I'VE EVER DATED?@!
if he ever tells me he loves me when we are sober, i am a goner. just fyi.
I had to say goodbye to one of my fuck buddies last night. He's voting for Trump, we shouldn't be doing it anyways.
Randomize
