whoever gets the blood i just donated is getting a shit ton of free thc
She looked like Sean Connery with cleft lip. So to answer your question, yes I put it in her butt.
I just fucked a rockette. This would have been amazing a week ago.
dont you remember the bouncer yelling at you while you were trying to piss?
no. why was the bouncer in the bathroom?
he wasn't. neither were you.
The worse part is i sent a text at like three that said i was getting head... Now i have no idea who's mouth has been on my dick
I hit her tiny dog with a horseshoe an hour ago. Her and her mom cried as it laid on the ground shaking. Im drunk.
do you realize that she was the awkward lesbian in high school and now bangs more girls than probably both of us combined?!
all i remember is him tryin to explain to the girls how to effectively hit the strip club with their bfs
hes actually pretty persuasive when he drinks
It was honestly like he was directing a porno or something. he kept telling different people to grab other people's boobs, it was all very artistic.
Girl your like that last load of laundry... I'll do you eventually just not tonight.
She tried to sleep on the front steps of her salon so she wouldn't be late for work and these people put her in a cab to my house. She is nothing if not responsible. Can u imagine her boss finding her there this morning?
Employee of the year! :)
We've gotten 3 pitchers already by trading for CUPCAKES
Those drunk pictures you took of me? My mom is showing those to my grandparents.
Oh my fucking god that cat looks just like you after you accidentally took Ketamine
Lost and found: pink cotton underwear next to my bed and soaking wet Reebok socks or boxers in a plastic bag...in my fridge🤔
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