Ok seriously, can we bring back badminton?
Dude i have a 6th sense for when bagel bites are ready.
I went from a chick that didn't like to have sex to one that can't get enough of it. I can't believe I'm going to say this but at 27 I think I need a happy medium
Damn it if I pass out in the bathroom one more time this month im going to rehab...
Well at least you learned that cops don't like when you call them frenchy. Nice dive over the fence by the way.
Who was the person who brought the rooster when they won @ beer pong
Def something wrong w taking plan b with your daughters juice box
i vomited out of my nose in three different houses so far, i will be back for my boots tomorrow
All I vaguely remember from last night is getting up on that nice mahogany table and debating about squirrel's rights
That works. I won't care. I'll be a mermaid. Mermaids don't give a fuck.
Especially drunk mermaids.
Def just threw up beer then brushed my teeth with some randos toothpaste now back to drinkin beer
Is it counter productive to ride on my exercise bike with a cocktail in hand?
His new girl is probably classy and boring. I bet she doesn't feed him sour patch kids while she wiggles his weiner.
They are going to name an STD after you.
It's barely past noon, how am I already talking about double penetration
Randomize
