you used to get mad at me for mentioning 'unprotected sex' and happenings in my bed
well yeah, but then i realized the wisdom of your ways.
4 feet of snow. teaching the cats how to snow swim. throwing them off the porch and seeing what happens.
season finale of lost and an oz of weed. tonight my mind is going to be blown.
made out with three guys on the first night of college orientation, just imagine what joys all of next year will hold
23 Parents Gave Awful Advice about “The Birds and the Bees”
I thought it was kinda weird that her ten yearold sister was playing bartender, but hey, the girl makes a damn good drink
when he was about to finish he told me to avert my eyes and keep my lady parts away. chivalry isnt dead.
I just want to make mistakes. Like stds that go away with antibiotics mistakes.
The timing couldn't have been better if I planned it. His mom walked away, I vomited in their mulch, and then his mom came back and offered me bread.
The last time I saw you, you were rolling around on the ground at the bar.....
.....well it was bound to be an interesting night since I was chasing my pulls with pulls....
These 19 Deaths Are Ironically Hilarious
I can't wait til I'm a real grown up and am no longer expected to take 7 shots of raspberry ruby as a pregame to a night of drinking natty lite
I managed to get through my meeting without throwing up in someone else's office, so there's that for an accomplishment today.
I wish the guy I was sleeping with wasn't on house arrest.
Amnesty Wednesday? I'm free to do dirty things to you and you can't laugh or judge?
Can you have a quarter life crisis another time? I'm trying to masterbate.
Another guy on Tinder just asked about "the hotter girl" in my pictures. I fucking hate being your friend.