I can't believe the cop was so cool about the whole thing, I mean, I had man mayo all over my jeans.
i also saw a trio of peacocks walking along a sidewalk in hollywood today. i really hope im not tripping.
Is it really that bad? I heard it was like pooping. I like pooping.
It's American, baby! There ain't nothin gross about America.
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turn left when you see the girl thats puking on the sidewalk. she hasnt been moving much so she makes a good street marker
i think it was just a coincidence but she literally vomited the second she saw my penis.
he was banged his ex for coke the whole time and is still the best guy so far this year. standards need to be raised.
Wise words from the guy who drunkenly chipped his teeth on the sidewalk
When hitting a Woodchuck bottle with a machete, glass will fly back and cut your face.
I hope you did not try this.
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I made Mark strip for me and do a stripper dance. I put 2 dollars in his mouth
oh and speaking of men I've slept with. Ryan lost 1/3 of a testicle zip lining
MASS TEXT: Lets start a new tradition. Black Friday log pic contest. I'm waiting.
Sending dick pics while driving a car going 80 in the rain at night to a married woman? Why hello 2014
We played Rock Paper Scissors to see who would have to go down on the other person.
When I met you, I was just like "who the fuck is this drunk chick throwing up on my bed?" But I'm glad we're friends now