I love girls that fake tan. Can you say p p p p p p p p pumpkin face
At the pride parade. It's not even noon and I'm drunk as shit... for equality of course
No way. Our relationship is based solely on texting and sex. A phone call would be too much at this point.
I managed to fit my wallet, my keys, my phone, Tammy's necklace, and $38.50 all in my bra. and $1.50 is in quarters. go me.
You fell asleep with your fingers in my vagina. You made this a relationship.
All I remember is having a LONG talk with a 23 year old mother with a 5 year old kid at a bar who told me "it's not that bad"
I think that "I fucked your little brother" wasn't the best way to introduce yourself.....
This is a great bar, except you can't even randomly burst into song without them assuming you're drunk and cutting you off.
Well I'm going to San Francisco next weekend for pride. I'm sure I'll end up drunk and on a beach at some point.
and then I partied with my new dealers deaf pit bull. All around a good night I'd say...
how don't worse things happen to you?
I woke up completely naked with the exception of my leg warmers. Last night must have been interesting.
Actually just remembered that solo cup full of scotch that random guy gave me for not farting on him. That's probably why
I had sex with him for the first time drunk, dressed in a toddler overall tutu costume, at 2pm. Horrible start.
Is it day drinking when the suns up like when does that start
asking for a friend
I kinda just want to steal him and keep him forever
Randomize
