Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
I would go down on you faster than GM stock
just used a blowie as payment for him having to take the dog out to let her poop.
After the sixth shot I started to slur my pauses.
Down at cameli's and some homeless dude just pulled out a taser. Awesome.
I got an 8 ball and a free entrance pass to the strip club, if i dont get laid tonight I never will.
I woke up in your car in the McDonalds parking lot. What the hell happened to 'no man left behind'?
I have fiberglass splinters all over my hands and woke up with a sign that says PUMPKINS in my room.
I just found out two girls I dated met each other, bonded over how much they hate me, started dating and are gonna get married soon.
He kept telling me that it stood for Sex Utility Vehicle
You were petting a 40 year old man's moustache for 15 minutes
I snapchatted him 4 pictures of me as Tarzan's dad so if he never talks to me again at least we'll know why
And I'm laying here struggling with the notion that I need to put pants on.
I woke up with my phone plugged into an extension cord in my garage. No clue how I got home. Videos of me flogging my roommate with my set of keys telling him he's the worst roommate ever. And my mom woke me up at 8am asking how to make a DVD...Goddamnit first Friday.
there is such a gross feeling of satisfaction when the married guy i used to hook up with likes my facebook status.
Randomize
