and those juicy C cups turned out to be oddly-shaped A's when her padded bra came off.
genius alert. I just invented a contraption made of toilet paper and rubber bands that makes it so your balls don't stick to your leg when you wake up from sleeping. I call it, The Balldozer
As far as classy things to do in front of your ex go, throwing up on your own shirt is not one of them.
at least 'blackout me' had enough sense to take the puke covered duvet off the comforter.
There are topless girls riding the lawn flamingos. I win.
100% of annual heatstroke fatalities are preventable deaths! Don't let it happen to you! Also, you can catch crabs from almost anything! Be safe and have fun.
My last google search was 'bulk asian wives' I don't know either
The rest of us are chipping in to soundproof your bedroom. This is getting ridiculous.
we couldn't find any funnels so we taped a spaghetti strainer to a pool noodle and it worked fairly well
It is 9pm, let the ass parade to the bars begin
Lucas & I had a photo shoot with her cape & I had child arm floaties on most the night.. woke up in a spiderman bed
Sometimes I think I'm witty and funny, and then I realize it 3pm and I'm drunk
I threw up this morning to Silent Night playing in background. It was actually quite soothing.
Yeah probably not. I have a hair appt, a gun class, and hopefully a boy to fuck. I'm booked.
I woke up in a warehouse with the words “Property of Adam” written on my chest in frosting.
Randomize
