im at the bar and i misjudged a fart...go home or ride the night out?Never mind, the bouncer made the decision for me...be home soon
Omg. Never. Take a laxative the day you are going on. A date.
PS: the photo I uploaded for this internship site is the same one i used for my fake ID. I like to keep it classy.
He said they were doing a skit in class apparently someone else is dressed like a horse. Ive never felt more proned to skipping class than now
well you decided to make everyone "drinks" which was sprite and beer mixed.
Paying 5 grand for boobs is saving me like 10 grand in weed
Also, drinking coors light. Fuck that. Fuck that in the fucking face.
you were making out with a guy that looked like Fat Albert, I kicked you in the vagina but you didn't stop
Dude I'm riding a fucking tortoise this is awesome you should come with me more often
I hopped in a random dudes car outside the strip club at 3pm on a Sunday and said "Follow that car!"
Oh god I want to come home! They have an air raid siren here that alerts their neighbours across the desert it's time to come over on atvs and drink.
Would I be a horrible mom if I got a babysitter at 6am so I could go get laid.
I need to learn how to not be a fucking liability
You were laying on the floor coloring a "get well soon' card for your liver...
Me and my boss just exchanged pictures of our bongs and such...I don't know I feel about this
Randomize
