Her gag reflex was as absent as a father figure must have been in her childhood
We should probably just have a threeway and get everyone on the same page.
This dude was wearing a "Plan B- One Step" backpack. I wonder how many more I have to buy until I get mine??
They found a chair, duct taped me to it, then gave me a bottle of vodka to 'make me feel at home'
somedays, I wish the drugs you give me would convince me they were a bad idea preingestion.
where's the fun in that?
How long can I keep it classy to hook up in my old office building? Two more years? Does it get weird after 30?
Then I'll go home and you two can do whatever two same sex heterosexual soul mates do
Finding out you're not a mother on Mother's Day >>>
Good to know. If our sexting moves past early 1900s vernacular, I'll be sure to use that once or twice.
All I know is I woke up cuddling a jar of peanut butter....
I'm really sorry I bit your mom last night, it was completely uncalled for.
I woke up with an empty beer bottle in my slipper and a note that said "it just wants to be warm"
Dont ask questions just say words. where can i find plan b?
I feel like I have the I just lost my virginity face and everyone at the grocery store knows it.
Want to go to Victoria’s Secret? His fiancée is out of town and I’m going to try and stop the wedding with lingerie and lots adventurous sex
Absolutely! I love a good sexual filibuster!
Randomize
